My fault?

"friend" turned everything on me, its my fault. I haven't reached out, he grandfather died. Call me insensitive I guess, but he lived a long full life. Mine did too-where was she? I can barely get out of bed some days, shouldn't friends call me? See how I am doing? After Kasey's service it was like things are all better-at least that is how people acted. I have yet to hit some of the hardest days. Kasey should be learning to crawl, he would almost be 1. I should be planning a big birthday party for our 1st child, the 1st grandchild. Instead I am trying to get donations for a silent auction to raise $ for CDH in memory of Kasey- IN MEMORY. This 8th month has been really hard on me. I am wreck, I feel crazy, I don't get out of bed to go to the gym, I barely get out of bed to get to work late. I miss our little punkin so bad and don't understand why he is not here with us. WHY, WHY??