I did it...

I did it, I went through all of Kasey's things that were in tubs stored away for the next time I was pregnant with a little boy, I just knew I would have another boy... well not this time around, well so far that's not what they are saying. I have been doing well, focusing on being positive for Princess and of course I think of Kasey everyday, but I don't cry and sob everyday I like I used to, well until yesterday that is. It was hard pulling out all of his things, which never got used. With great hopes they will be used here in a few months. It brought back all those emotions, thoughts, the memories, the routines that we had for those short 33 days. Many of Kasey's things are now out and in Princesses room. There are baby clothes in the closet for the 1st time. God I hope I am not jumping the gun... Next is to get my husbands shit out that keeps piling up on the rocking chair and then get the crib out and set it up, then it will begin to look like a babies room again. I am so very excited, but now that things are beginning to come along I am getting scared again. I have a friend who has been urging me to get things for princess, so we have gone to a few consignment stores (to think I thought that was a good step...) The same friend also wants to throw me a shower. All I can do is breath and pray that she keeps cooking and my body does what it needs to. Since I have started blogging the majority of my "friends" have had their angels too early or they were born sleeping. This is a ginormous fear of mine...I am 99% positive she does not have CDH, but one can never be positive that she will not be born too early or the next time they try to find her heart beat they wont be able to.